Loving-kindness meditation, known by its Pali name metta, is a quiet practice of wishing well, first to yourself and then, step by step, to everyone else. You can do it in eight minutes, sitting or lying down, with nothing more than a few short phrases repeated slowly. This guide explains where it comes from, gives you the classic phrases, and shows how to widen the circle until it includes all beings.
The short version: sit quietly, silently repeat a few kind phrases such as "May I be safe, may I be at peace", then direct the same wishes to someone you love, someone neutral, someone difficult, and finally everyone. Eight minutes is enough to go all the way round once.
What metta means and where it comes from
Metta is a word from Pali, the language of the oldest surviving Buddhist scriptures in the Theravada tradition. It is usually translated as loving-kindness, goodwill or friendliness, and it is related to the Pali word mitta, "friend". It is not romantic love, and it is not approval. It is the simple, open wish that a being be well.
The best-known scriptural source is the Metta Sutta, a short discourse of the Pali canon, also called the Karaniya Metta Sutta. It speaks of cherishing all living beings the way a mother would protect her only child. Buddhist traditions have kept the practice alive for well over two thousand years, and in recent decades it has also been taught in secular settings, without any religious framework.
You do not need to be a Buddhist to use it. People of many faiths and of none borrow the phrases as a way to practise goodwill, in the same spirit in which others borrow a psalm or a blessing.
The classic phrases
Teachers word the phrases in slightly different ways. A common version has four lines:
May I be happy.
May I be well.
May I be safe.
May I be at peace.
Some lines are traditional, others are adapted. If one phrase sticks in your mouth, change it. "May I be kind to myself" or "May I feel at home in my life" are fine. What matters is that you mean the words, even a little, and that you say them slowly enough to hear them.
For a peace practice, a fifth line works well:
May there be peace in me, and may it reach others.
That sentence is our own wording, not a classical formula.
How to extend from yourself to others
A traditional order, taught for example in the Visuddhimagga, a fifth-century meditation manual, moves outward in stages. Each stage uses the same phrases with a different "you".
- Yourself. Begin here, because it is the person you can reach most directly. If it feels awkward, picture yourself as a child, or simply say the phrases anyway.
- Someone who has been good to you. A teacher, a friend, a grandparent. This stage is usually the easiest. "May you be happy, may you be well, may you be safe, may you be at peace."
- A neutral person. Someone you see but do not know: the person at the bakery, a neighbour you only nod to. They have a whole life you will never see.
- A difficult person. Choose someone mildly irritating at first, not the hardest person in your life. You are not excusing anything they did. You are wishing that they, too, be free from suffering.
- All beings. People near and far, those you agree with and those you do not, every living creature. "May all beings be happy. May all beings be at peace."
If a stage feels flat or resistant, that is normal. Stay with it for a few breaths, or go back to the stage before. Nobody is grading the meditation.
Loving-kindness in eight minutes
The Sunday practice at Cosmic Peace Prayers lasts eight minutes, at 8 PM your local time. Here is one way to fill them with metta. You can use the timer on the home page to keep time.
- Minute 1: arrive. Sit comfortably. Let your shoulders drop. Take three slow breaths.
- Minutes 2 to 3: yourself. Repeat the four phrases silently, once per out-breath if that suits you.
- Minute 4: a loved one. Bring a face to mind. Offer the same phrases to them.
- Minute 5: a neutral person. Offer the phrases to someone you barely know.
- Minute 6: a difficult person. Offer the phrases, softly. If this is too much today, offer them to someone who is simply tired or struggling.
- Minutes 7 to 8: everyone. Widen your attention to the street, the city, the planet. "May all beings be at peace." End in silence for a few breaths.
If you prefer prayer to meditation, you can read the same sequence as a blessing. Many people say it as "May God bless and keep" in place of "May you be happy", and the shape of the practice does not change. For other short wordings, see our short prayers for peace.
Making it a habit
Metta tends to feel different from day to day. Some sessions are warm, some are dry, and both are fine. A few simple habits make it easier to return:
- Use the same phrases for a few weeks before changing them.
- Practise at a regular time. Sunday at 8 PM is one option; you can see how it fits in our guide to meditation for peace.
- Keep it short. Eight focused minutes are better than twenty distracted ones.
- If you are going through something heavy, begin with the stage that feels easiest and stay there.
If you want a quiet reminder before each Sunday, you can sign up for the Sunday Letter. For a wider overview, see all guides and prayer for inner peace.
Questions
What does metta mean?
Metta is a Pali word usually translated as loving-kindness, goodwill or friendliness. It means the wish that a being be well, without conditions attached.
What are the classic loving-kindness phrases?
A common set is "May I be happy, may I be well, may I be safe, may I be at peace." The same lines are then offered to others: "May you be happy", and finally "May all beings be happy". Wording varies between teachers, so you can adapt it.
Do I have to be Buddhist to practise loving-kindness?
No. The practice comes from the Buddhist tradition, but people of other faiths and people with no religion use it. You can also treat the phrases as a blessing within your own tradition.
Who should I start with?
Start with yourself, then someone who has been kind to you. Move on to a neutral person and later a difficult person. If a stage feels too hard on a given day, stay with an easier one.
How long should it take?
Eight minutes is enough to go through all the stages once. That is also the length of the Sunday practice at Cosmic Peace Prayers.